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Twenty-seven months, no color: Jan 22, 2016

Going Silver: And Your Friends

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Sharing my journey down Silver Linings Lane hasn’t been easy–it takes courage to stand up to social norms. Recently, a dear friend of mine confirmed that speaking out and setting an example is a good thing. Check out her Facebook post:

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Wow, I inspired my friend! I’ve heard this from others–privately–but, was overjoyed to see Valerie’s post on Facebook. Our story has a unique twist. You see, Valerie inspired me–years ago. When I met Valerie we were in our 20s and she had prematurely gray hair. I thought it was cool, she carried it well, and looked great! When I considered going natural, I thought about Valerie and how good she looked with silver strands back in the day. Here are some pictures of us back in the 90s.

Glenda and Valerie in 1992

Glenda and Valerie in 1992 – You can’t really see the gray in this pic, but you can in the next. I just wanted to show us together!

Valerie in 1992

Valerie in 1992 – Now, you can see the silver streaks!

And, here is my response to Valerie’s post and her story in her-own-words …

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And, this is my beautiful friend now … on her way back down Silver Linings Lane.

My friend Valerie

My friend Valerie

We each have our own way of moving through this phase, but I have found a common theme. Once we’re on a roll, we see the stunning silver, and want a full head of it! Valerie told me, “I’m getting impatient already! My gray coming in is so pretty!! I do plan to eventually have a few lowlights periodically to break up the totalness, but it will be so much healthier and require less maintenance. I’m very excited for the journey.” And, so am I … for those of you who aren’t so sure about going silver. Just do it! There are others like me and Valerie who are happy to support you! Please subscribe to my blog and feel free to share your thoughts and emotions along the way. You will experience a lot of them – good and bad. We all have! But, it’s worth it … you will see! I’d love to hear from you! Let’s do this!


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Twenty-six months, no color: Dec 8, 2015

Going Silver: All that Glitters is not …

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GOLD! Not the way I see it … I’m all about letting that glittery, shimmery Silver Shine! In early December, I went to the salon for a hair cut and as my hairstylist started to blow out my hair, she marveled at the natural silver highlights cascading down the back of my head. Other stylists and customers chimed in. Interestingly, my former colorist remained silent. She’s the one who warned me that sooner or later I’d be back in her chair. Hm?! It’s been 26 months and I haven’t been back for more color torture. I had no idea these silver highlights were hiding underneath my high and low lights! I’m so psyched! I wish others would go natural … we never know what glory might be hiding under all of that dye. Yep, glorious highlights that are “dying” to be seen! 🙂

Twenty-six months, no color: Dec 3, 2015; check out the mix of colors!

Twenty-six months, no color: Dec 3, 2015; check out the mix of colors!

Which leads me to the fear of not coloring. Why are we so afraid to be WHO WE ARE?! Why are we constantly covering up our true essence in order to look like someone else or to hold onto a younger version of ourselves? And really, do people enjoy spending ridiculous amounts of time in an uncomfortable chair making small talk or every few weeks buying a bottle of dye and making a mess in their bathroom? I’d rather spend time doing what I enjoy; like hanging out with people I love and adore or going for a work out … and I get it, not everyone enjoys working out. But, you get my point, right?!

Not long ago, I attended a birthday party and talked to a guest who stated that her colorist charges $400 for each session. Now, that’s a lot of money. She can afford it, but I know others who can’t and still put tons of money into coloring their hair. Just think if you could save that money and go on a fabulous trip to another country and learn about another culture. I’d rather make memories like that instead of cling to some old version of what I used to look like. Life is about moving forward, not hanging on to the past!

So, as we close out 2015 and move forward … join me and your other Silver Sisters as we celebrate who we are in the moment! Check out the photos below and the ones in my Silver Linings Photos. If you are thinking about going silver, please speak up. I’d love to hear from you. And, please sign up for my blog. The more we band together on this, the more we will deconstruct the social norms that going gray or going silver is a bad thing! Let’s celebrate every stage of life for what it is! On that high note, I wish you a Happy New Year … let the celebrations begin! 🙂


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Twenty-five months, no color: Nov 3, 2015

Going Silver: Natural Highlights

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In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to declare how grateful I am for the natural highlights bestowed upon me. Were it not for my non-conformist courage to stop highlighting/lowlighting, I would not have known the true beauty woven into the many strands of hair by the Great Creator.

About a week ago, I sauntered into my chiropractor’s office and signed-in at the front desk under the bright office lights. The two women at the reception desk commented on my hair, the color, how healthy it looked, and how it shined under the lights. So, I shared my Going Silver story with them. They were shocked that my hair was “all-a-naturale”! One said it looked as though I had just been to the salon for highlights. And I said, “No need! God did it for me!” 😉 This led to a conversation on culture and the pressure for women to look a certain way. The two women have dark hair and lamented that it is much more difficult for those with dark hair. That us blondes have it easier. They have a point.

Twenty-five months, no color: Nov 1, 2015; Check out those natural highlights from the top!!

Twenty-five months, no color: Nov 1, 2015; Check out those natural highlights from the top!!

That said, I had an interesting encounter that made me question their response. I was sitting at an outside café sipping a latte while waiting for my car to be serviced at the shop. I was reading a book, but looked up each time someone approached the front door of the café. It was an interesting mix of people, all of whom I exchanged pleasantries. But, there was one that I wish I had taken more time to engage with. It was a middle-aged, dark-haired woman who had the most beautiful mix of silver! She was aglow … she radiated confidence, happiness, vivaciousness, and kindness. I wish I could roll back time and ask for her Silver Story! I need to go back to that café soon … maybe I’ll run into her again. That’s the kind of Silver Role Model I want to be … one that inspires others to be who they are! There is a profound sense of beauty in authenticity!

In contrast, I see other pasty women with skin stretched back on their face and bright bottle-colored hair as they attempt to reach back in time to a day that has passed them by. Why?! Grasp the moment you are in … revel in the beauty around you! And, don’t buy into the cultural norms that tell you aging = ugly and over. Look around you and see the Silver Haired women (and men) out there who are simply radiant and totally enjoying the present moment! And, look in the mirror … see the beauty and rock it!

On that high note, let me ask you once again to join me on this journey down Silver Linings Lane … check out my Silver Linings photos to see my journey, subscribe to my blog, share your thoughts (this includes my Bestie for the Restie) and worries. We’ve all had them! We can do this together!


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Twenty-four months, no color: Oct 20, 2015

Going Silver: Made it Two Years – NO COLOR!!

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I’m so proud of myself for embracing my age and accepting the changes that come with it! I feel as though the entire Universe is celebrating my two years of no highlights/lowlights. I have had nothing but awesome compliments this month! Some from people I know and some from strangers. I’ve had so many compliments that I feel like a Silver Selebrity! 😉 These comments came from people ages 23 to 70+, a mix of men and women, several different nationalities, and from varied backgrounds. I’m walking on a cloud of silver! Check out the photo gallery below!!

I was in Minnesota recently and a dear friend I hadn’t seen in a year asked if I had just highlighted my hair. My response was, “These are natural, sparkly silver highlights from God above!” Her response in a beautiful British accent was, “Well done!” This conversation took place on the tarmac at the airport in full sun! Other conversations took place in low light settings and I was quick to say I’ve had no highlights or lowlights in two years – these are natural highlights! 🙂 It’s awesome! And, guess what!? Men of all ages still give me a double-take!!

The more I accept my age the more confident I am. Let’s face it … none of us are getting out of here alive. We are not Methuselah! Further, we are more than just a physical form and must drop the attachment. That doesn’t mean we should stop taking care of ourselves. In fact, I see this as an act of love and compassion for my body – less chemicals and stress worrying about my roots and appearance! On that high note … lighten your load … enjoy your time on this planet … none of us know how long we have to enjoy this time! Get out of the salon and see the brilliant blue sky, go for a walk and listen to the birds, watch a brilliant sunrise or sunset! God is a much better highlighter and lowlighter … notice the nuances of nature and let them steal your breath away before you have no breath left!

Join me on this journey down Silver Linings Lane … subscribe to my blog, share your thoughts and worries. We’ve all had them! We can do this together! Yes, we can!


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Twenty-three months, no color: Sep 25, 2015

Going Silver: A Youthful Perspective

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It’s been almost two years since I started this journey down Silver Linings Lane. I’m not all silver, yet. In fact, I’m surprised how much dirty blonde is still coming out. Fortunately, it frames my face well for a smooth transition (as you can see in the featured image). Scroll down to see some close-up shots of my shining silver! Look for the big silver streak at the back of my head! I hope it’s a precursor … 🙂

In my humble opinion, learning to love yourself…in your natural state…is a whole new way of relating to yourself that is much more fulfilling than trying to cover up who you are. I can’t describe it. But, I’m glad I did it!

Last weekend, I went shopping with a friend who is my age. We went into BCBG in Chevy Chase (MD) just to look. We ended up trying on a few items. As we were checking out, we had an interesting exchange with two young girls who worked there. They were both in their 20s. We started out with normal chitchat about how good the outfits looked on us … I expressed surprise that my new grey shirt looked quite good with my silver hair. The lights over the register were very bright and both of the girls agreed and said they “loved my hair color”! Woo-hoo! Silver hair victory shuffle at the checkout counter!

Then, the young women started to talk about how young celebrities are coloring their hair grey … how it is a fad and they think it’s cool. The more they talked the more it hit me … they are so lucky to have this healthy way of looking at aging. I’m so proud of women who are standing up to the “norms” and feeling comfortable in their own skin. And, I’m so grateful that my mother showed me how to age gracefully and enjoy the process! We only get one chance at this thing called life … so I’m going to enjoy every phase and savor each step … and, in my case … silver step!

So, if it’s the right time for you … join me! Subscribe to my blog. I would love to hear from you. Remember … we’re in this together! Whether you color or not, we’re going silver. That’s the plain and simple truth! Accept it and enjoy the journey! 🙂


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Twenty-two months, no color: Aug 8, 2015

Going Silver: Line of demarcation

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For the people out there who still think I look blonde – here is a picture that shows the line of demarcation!! This was not an easy picture to take – kudos to the photographer! This pic really shows my progress. I love it! I’ve been through a lot to get here. And, as you can see from the pix below … I’m enjoying my journey down Silver Linings Lane.

This past week I was at Bed, Bath, and Beyond picking up some household necessities. I was standing in the checkout line when a slightly-turning-silver woman behind me said,

“Excuse me, I came in here to buy some hair color to touch up my roots. I had decided to let my hair go naturally grey, but because of some not-so-nice comments, I’m having second thoughts. What do you think?”

I’ll never know if she noticed my silver streaks, I didn’t think to ask. I responded with a resounding, “Do what feels right for you. Look at what I’m doing!” And, with that, I pulled out my pony tail and showed her my resplendent shades of silver. We had a short exchange on authenticity, I wish it could have been longer. She was a delightful woman. Since I was ahead of her in line, I do not know if she bought the hair color, or not. I love that she had the courage to speak to me. And, I love providing affirmations, when needed. We’re in this together!

This past week, I read a witty article by Sarah Hampson titled, “I’m fed up with the age-defiance game, so my ‘granny’ hair is staying” … what a great sense of “humor”. Her experience resonated with me. Love these thoughts she shared,

“Women of a certain age like to say how wonderful it is to discover that they don’t care what others think any more. And that’s true. We can spend our lives worrying about how others perceive us as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, career women, etc. etc. And you reach an age, post 40, where you finally have more confidence in who you are and what you have accomplished.

We believe we’re becoming authentic but that’s the very point when we’re encouraged to cover up what is really happening with our bodies.”

So, for those who are fed-up with covering up, join those of us who are letting our hair down, or as my cover pic displays – shaking things up and having a ball doing it! 🙂 I invite you to subscribe to my blog and join in the conversation. I would love to hear from you. Remember … we’re in this together! Whether you color or not, we’re going silver. That’s the plain and simple truth! Accept it and rock it! 🙂

 


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Twenty-one months, no color: July 28, 2015

Going Silver: Shades of Silver and Gold

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I’m closing in on the two-year, no-color mark … and, I am psyched! So far, I’ve resisted the urge to follow the crowd and continue the high- and low-light game. It’s taken a lot of soul-searching and struggling with who I am. I have a lot of questions. Why do we throw away our youth … and then struggle to hold onto it? Why are we so caught up in thought … that we miss the present moment? Think less, live more! I’m trying to veer away from that incessant voice in my head telling me I’m not good enough. I’m trying to accept myself just the way I am. And that means living in the moment with gratitude and grace while embracing the real me.

This period of reflection has brought me back in touch with my youth. For example, when I was young, I used to love to swim. I would go underwater and then stand up with my hair in front of my face and marvel at the many colors of hair in the sunlight. Well, I am doing the same thing now, minus the swimming part. 🙂 I look at my hair in different lighting and see so many awesome colors. I love it! Each angle provides a different type of color. I’m blessed. This transition was easier than I thought it would be, but (IMHO) that is because I have chosen to accept the changes of aging. It is, what it is …

Speaking of changing colors … check out the photos below … they were taken minutes apart. Three inside, three outside. The outside pix show my hair color in a whole new light! I just love the silver streaking through … I think it will be magnificent when all my hair is silver. Until then, I’ll treasure the silver streaks! If you are thinking of naturally going silver … please sign up for my blog, share your thoughts (dark or light – my new way of highlighting and lowlighting – ha), and let’s help each other along the way! Until next month … all the best!


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Twenty months, no color: June 21, 2015

Going Silver: 20 Months, No Color

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I’m starting to really enjoy the color of my hair … this twenty-month journey has been one of ups and downs. But overall, I’m so grateful for my perseverance. One takeaway for me … is that natural blondes have it easier than brunettes when it comes to naturally going silver. That said, my mother is a natural redhead and she also had a smooth transition. Her grays made her hair look blonde making the switch to silver smooth. I’m finding the same thing. After I stopped highlighting/lowlighting it wasn’t such a big deal. I could see the line of demarcation, but others could not. And now, my silver looks like natural highlights.

In fact, recently I had my hair cut and a woman walked up to the desk to pay when I did and said, “I’m admiring your hair – it’s beautiful.” That comment led to a conversation about me going natural and she thought I had just had highlights. How cool is that?! I hope our exchange in the salon made others think about what is possible. I hope they ask themselves, “I wonder what is under my layers of color treatments?” I’m not trying to say that everyone needs to stop coloring their hair, I’m just here to say that there is a real sense of freedom on the other side. No more worries about roots and scheduling appointments to “cover up”. I love the freedom that comes with being who you are … here’s to no more cover up! 🙂

As always, here are a few pictures from my 20th month of no color! With the length of my hair it will take a while to make the full conversion. But, I’m getting there. If you are toying with the idea of naturally going silver … please sign up for my blog, share your thoughts (dark or light – our new out of highlighting and lowlighting – ha), and let’s help each other along the way! Until next month … all the best!


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Nineteen months, no color: May 29, 2015

Going Silver: A graduation of sorts

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The month of May 2015 marked my 19th month of no highlights and lowlights! I feel as though I am adjusting nicely to my own color. The color changes from day-to-day. It’s almost like my hair has a mood. I never know what I’m going to get: a dark, light, wild, or wiry day.

There is a surprising amount of blonde left. I’m so glad I tried this experiment. My newfound awareness has led me to strike up conversations with other women who have chosen to go with their natural hair color. Recently, I spoke with a woman who said that she was tired of having three colors of hair. She grew so weary of the covering up process and constant appointments with her hair dresser, that she just said, “forget it”. Now, she was getting a special rate because a close friend had colored her hair for 20 years. So, this wasn’t a financial decision. This was about the tri-color and time issue. She was over it.

This woman had streaks of silver in the front that nicely framed her face and dark hair in the back. She looked beautiful, very natural and her hair matched her skin tone. I’m finding that the women who are in this together really support one another. That said, on the going gray online forums I see where women are hurt by their friends who color their hair with comments like “Why do you want to look old?” Or, by comments that people unwittingly make like “Is that your grandchild?” when it is actually their child. Well, as I see it, that’s life. Face, it we aren’t getting any younger. It is … what it is!

I experienced something like that when I went to pick up my graduation gown at the Barnes & Noble/Johns Hopkins bookstore in Baltimore. Yes, I just got my Mid-Life Masters and I’m sure that’s why I have a few extra silver hairs! 😉 While walking into the store, a gentleman asked me, “Is your son or daughter graduating?” He was quite surprised and embarrassed when I said I was the actual graduate. We had a good laugh over it. He apologized, I said there was no need to apologize. I didn’t let his comment bother me. Afterall, it could have been my son or daughter! I am that age and am totally cool with that!

Enough of my rambling! If you are entertaining the idea of going silver … just do it! Join the amazing and growing group of Silver Sisters on Silver Linings Pathway. And, if you want support, sign up for my blog. Let’s do this together. It’s easier when you have support! As always, please see below some pictures – as you can see, the theme this month was graduation, I may have attained my mid-life masters … but, I have a ways to go before I graduate with a full head of silver! I’m up for the challenge, are you?! 🙂


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Eighteen months, no color: Apr 29, 2015

Going Silver: What George Clooney and I have in common

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I’ve always been a George Clooney fan, because face it … the man is sooooooo handsome! But, now more than ever, I like what this man has to say! And, in this case, I would like to add, “great minds think alike”! For those of you who haven’t heard his thoughts on aging, here’s a snippet from the Huffington Post article I read this week:

Screen shot of Huffington Post - May 27, 2015

Screen shot of Huffington Post – May 27, 2015

I love it … this quote is all about acceptance. And, for me that means accepting my gray/grey/silver hairs! If we reject the gift of aging and try to cover up or deny reality … we are not truly living in the present! Accepting “what is” … is liberating. At least, for me it is … and for those of you struggling with this … I say break free and accept your age! It is God’s gift to you and better than the alternative which George Clooney hits on with this quote:

Screen shot of Huffington Post - May 27, 2015

Screen shot of Huffington Post – May 27, 2015

As always, I have included several pictures that showcase my gradual switch to silver. The pictures below are from my eighteenth month of no highlights/lowlights! If you are also on the Silver Linings Pathway or know of someone who is thinking about it, please subscribe to my blog and join the conversation. It’s important that we stick together on this and buck the old stereotypes on aging – especially as it pertains to women! Come on, let’s empower others to accept their age and be proud of what they look like. And, that message – at least this week is from – George and Glenda (G&G)!


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