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    Feb 15
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Glenda Going Silver

Going Silver: Seven Months and No Color

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So, here I am … seven months into my journey on Silver Linings Lane. Sadly, I did not take many pictures this month. This was a stressful time and it shows on my face, but I think my hair looks great! 🙂 Interestingly, in the pictures below you have to look really, really close to see the silver. Again, this whole notion that hair color is such a big deal is simply not true. We make it a big deal by comparing ourselves to others instead of loving ourselves – THE WAY WE ARE! I do not recall one person noticing my gradual switch to silver. I, on the other hand, as a social experiment asked friends, family, and colleagues how my hair looked and I got the same reply, “It’s not gray, it’s blonde!” What a hoot.

Seven months, no color – May 7, 2014
Seven months, no color – May 7, 2014
Seven months, no color – May 11, 2014

So, for all you women (and men) out there who are fretting about being in your natural state or finding your way back … lighten up (and I don’t mean more highlights … ha ha). Seriously, stop taking yourself SOOOO SERIOUSLY! Enjoy your life, enjoy the moment. Stop worrying about how you look, what people think, and live in the moment! If you do, you will find that you are more than a hair color, or a certain style. Take off the mask and show the world … who you really are underneath the facade. It’s liberating and a little scary, but worth it!

For years I heard my grandmother berate my mother for her hairstyle. My mother’s hair was either too short or too long. In my grandmother’s eyes, it was never good enough. What nonsense. It hurt my mother’s feelings and now that I am older and wiser, I see that my grandmother was insecure and taking it out on my mother. How insensitive. I love my grandmother, but this was a huge lesson for me. And might be why I am so determined to go silver and keep my long hair. I am not about to let other people hurt me because they are living in fear and insecure. Life’s too short. Do your own thing! You will always have critics and most of them will be the ones closest to you. But, you can rise above it. This is your journey, not theirs.

  • 20
    Feb 15
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Screenshot of music video - Gift of Love

Sami Yusuf: The Gift of Love

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With all of the savagery in the world right now, a glimpse of hope from the Middle East was brought to us by Sami Yusuf … a new song called “The Gift of Love”. Just before Valentine’s Day and in the midst of horror-gripping news items about beheadings and burning people alive we were presented with this amazing song. Unfortunately, even though many of us tweeted and posted about the “The Gift of Love” on social media the song did not generate a peep in the US news cycle. I am bitterly disappointed in that. It is as though the media outlets only want to focus on barbaric acts. How can love spread when we only produce, share, and “like” terror messages? Wake up my friends!

I would prefer to see a song like “Gift of Love” go viral versus some crazy thing said or done by a celebrity. I tried to help “Gift of Love” go viral and was psyched when SamiYusufOfficial retweeted my tweet (see below).

Twitter Screenshot take on Feb 2, 2015

Twitter Screenshot taken on Feb 2, 2015

But, I was very disappointed when I did a google search and realized that the only news items I could find were from news outlets in the Middle East. And, sadly … there were only a few:

Gulf News – “Samii Yusuf Releases his “Gift of Love” (Feb 3, 2015)

Gulf News – “Sami Yusuf’s blessed life” (Feb 5, 2015)

Arab News – “La Giordania unisce le tre fedi in un video di 3 minuti” (Feb 14, 2015)

Humankind better wake up and realize that we can blame the media all we want, but it is also up to each of us to “be the change you wish to see in the world”. How many people in the world know that the first week of February is now observed as World Interfaith Harmony Week? All thanks to King Abdullah II of Jordan, this week has been set aside. It is my hope that next year Sami will come out with a new song and slowly, but surely, a new wave of love will start to encircle the earth. A wave so strong that it will overcome the wave of violence so prominent in our world. I know that when I listen to the Gift of Love and let the interfaith message sink in … it soothes my soul. Please listen to the song and share. It’s never to late to make it go viral! I urge all my friends to listen to it. And, think about the message, let it sink deep into your soul and let it guide you as you interact with others day-to-day. Step by step, we can make a change in this world … it’s up to you and me!

Screenshot of music video - Gift of Love

Screenshot of music video – Gift of Love

  • 13
    Feb 15
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Six months, no color - April 25, 2014

Going Silver: Six Months and No Color

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It is amazing to look back at the stages of going silver. I was so busy with work and grad school that I didn’t have time to focus on much else. Which is a good thing. I think this phase helped me focus on personal goals versus outward appearances. Over time and with that shift in focus, I began to get in touch with the non-conformist inside of me and I realized how liberating it is to do my own thing. Also, when you take the pressure off yourself to look a certain way, you are more in touch with the present and who you really are underneath the facade. As you can see from the pictures below … I know how to have fun. I can literally let my hair down and shake things up. Interestingly, while shaking my hair around in these pix, you can see the shades of gray taking over. I love it. So, lighten up without the highlights  … be yourself. Claim Susan Jeffers’ mantra: “I am powerful and I love it!” Own your power, own the right to do what you want, and let it fly!

Six months, no color – April 1, 2014
Six months, no color – April 3, 2014
Six months, no color – April 3, 2014
Six months, no color – April 3, 2014
Six months, no color – April 3, 2014
Six months, no color – April 3, 2014
Six months, no color – April 25, 2014
Six months, no color – April 30, 2014
Six months, no color – April 30, 2014
Six months, no color – April 30, 2014
Six months, no color – April 30, 2014
Six months, no color – April 30, 2014
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    Feb 15
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Five months, close-up no color - March 25, 2014

Going Silver: Five Months and No Color

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My next few posts will include mainly pictures … to chronicle my journey down Silver Linings Lane. I wish I had thought to take more close-ups … but, these pix will show how I enjoyed my life during my transition from golden to gray, or as I like to say … silver! 🙂

What really amazes me about this journey is that people have not noticed that I am letting my hair go gray. If they do notice, they aren’t saying anything to me. What is so obvious to me – isn’t to others. We are definitely harder on ourselves than others. I bring it up all the time and people are like, “Your hair just looks blonde. I don’t see gray” Unbelievable. There is quite a bit of blondish brown stuff, but still. It is so much more obvious to me. This is what I love about the journey … I’m learning to take myself less seriously! Life is so much easier this way … less stress, less worries. We should be grateful to HAVE HAIR. Tons of people who go through chemotherapy know what that means. So, we should be grateful for what God has given us! I know I am!

Five months, no color – March 14, 2014
Five months, no color – March 26, 2014
Five months, close-up no color – March 25, 2014
Five months, no color – March 25, 2014
Five months, no color – March 26, 2014
Five months, no color – March 26, 2014
Five months, no color – March 26, 2014
Five months, no color – March 26, 2014
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    Jan 15
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Four months, no color - Feb 17, 2014

Another Benefit: Going Silver Saves Time

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Yes, you read that right … going silver can save you time!  Think about it. How many hours have you spent sitting in a salon chair lost in foils, soaking in smelly chemicals, and making small talk? I was lucky (and inconsistent), I went for high-and-low-lights every 3-5 months. I know, according to social norms, I should have been in the salon sooner, but carving out 2 1/2 hours for color and a cut was not easy. It was especially difficult when pursuing my mid-life masters. Now that I’m finished with grad school, I have a long list of things I want to do. And, I’m not going to get them done while soaking in chemicals!

In my last post, I mentioned an article by Ellen Miller that quoted Anne Kreamer, author of “Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Matters”. Interestingly, while conducting research for her book, Anne learned that, “women spent more time getting their hair dyed than they did having sex.” Seriously?! I’m sure part of the reason women feel pressured to retain their youthful looks is to keep the spark alive with their partners. Yet, it seems something isn’t working here … at least for the people who Anne interviewed for her research.

So, why exactly are we dying our hair? Why are we convinced that we aren’t good enough just the way we are? And, why is growing old a negative thing? I’m so over it. I’m weary of advertisers trying to convince me that I need to be something I’m not, or trying to pressure me to hold onto something that has already passed (like my youth). My goodness, it’s time to rewrite the script. I don’t want to be one of those women spending more time getting my hair done versus investing my time making wonderful memories and doing enjoyable things!

In order to accomplish this, I have looked to other women who are on the silver path and in the process found an awesome group on Facebook – Going Gray Gracefully. It is so empowering to see the pictures and to read the posts. Others feel the same and that is why I am blogging about this. It helps me air my thoughts, work through my issues, and I hope to inspire others along the way. And, I want to leave a visual trail … pictures tell the story.

In closing, the pictures below are from February 2014 … four months into my journey down Silver Linings Lane. If you are thinking about going silver, what would you do with the time you saved from not coloring? I’m working on video editing projects and trying some new functional training sessions – just to name a few. I would love to hear what you are doing (in the comments section below)! Wishing you the best! 🙂

Four months, no color – Feb 6, 2014
Four months, no color – Feb 6, 2014
Four months, no color – Feb 17, 2014
Four months, no color – Feb 17, 2014
Four months, no color – February 4, 2014

 

 

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    Jan 15
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Three months, no color (deconstructing cultural norms) - Jan 21, 2014

The Cost-Benefit of Going Silver

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Last week’s blog post brought up an interesting discussion on my Facebook page. I blogged about starting my journey down Silver Linings Lane and my friend Lynette Anderson Frantz, who has also chosen to go gray brought up a great point. She said, “I use the money I save from not coloring on pedicures. Love my pretty toenails.”

I am so glad Lynette brought this up because one of the resulting benefits of not coloring your hair is the money you will save … a true silver lining. This money can be channeled to a savings account or like Lynette chose … can be redirected to beautify another part of your body! For Lynette, it’s a win-win … she has silver sparkles on her head and pretty sparkly toes! I love it! Lynette’s comment really made me think about the amount of money I am saving. My high/low-lights could cost from $170 to $230 and I went approximately 4 times per year. At the top end that would be between $900/$1000 per year. Putting that money away and factoring in compounded interest is an idea that sparkles now and into the future! Or, redirecting that money towards yoga classes, hiring a functional training coach, or starting a new hobby would also be beneficial. I’m starting to look at my silver hair in a whole new way. It is a true cost-benefit to walk away from the chemicals and accept myself the way I am.

Let’s take a closer look at quantifying the cost of coloring your hair. I read a blog post by Ellen Miller on Angie’s List that quoted Anne Kreamer, author of “Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Matters” as saying, “I did the math. In 25 years of coloring, I spent $65,000 on coloring,” Kreamer went on to say, “If I’d invested that in a college education for my daughters, that would have been awesome.” Hm. $65K? Wow! I’ve been highlighting my hair for a long time and I’m thinking about how much better the “money saved from coloring my hair” would look in an investment account with compounded interest right now! Ugh, why didn’t I see the light earlier?! At least I’m on the right path now … better-late-than-never to travel on Silver Linings Lane!

To that end, the pictures below are from January 2014 … three months into my journey down Silver Linings Lane. If you are thinking about going silver, what would you do with the money you saved from not coloring? I would love to hear from you in the comment section below!

Three months, no color (Jan 8, 2014)
Three months, no color – Jan 3, 2014

 

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    Jan 15
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Janean & Glenda (Dec 2013)

Starting my journey to silver …

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As promised, I am documenting my journey on the road to Silver Linings! 🙂 The reality is … I might not make it all the way … there might come a day when I say … who the hell is that in the mirror and make an urgent call to Sonya, my phenomenal “colorizer” at Salon Fusion. It could happen, I am human! But, my goal is to try to enjoy the new, REAL me. And, hopefully … I will enjoy the journey so much that I can’t go back to the days of soaking in chemicals and sitting in salon chairs for excruciating, precious hours. Ready or not, here we go!

Now, the picture below (taken in Dec 2013) is certainly not flattering, but on my way to transparency, I must add the pix that I would normally pretend did not exist! I want this to be an open, honest journey. This particular day was gray and gloomy, I was worried about driving from Rochester to Minneapolis in the middle of a snowstorm. I was also concerned about making my flight. So, worry was written all over my face. But, let’s not concentrate on the face … we are here to talk about HAIR! 🙂 Which reminds me, one of my former hairdressers used to call straggly silver strands – “stress highlights”! I loved this terminology, it made me think!! And, I encourage you to ponder that phrase when you are stressing and try to put your pressures in perspective! Now, back to the pic below … at this time, I was only a few months into my journey and with my hair tied back and a bit of the blonde flowing about – I think I looked great.

Glenda at Mayo - Dec 2013

Glenda at Mayo – Dec 2013

Now, these next two pictures show how I had been “keeping it real” by only highlighting/lowlighting and not totally coloring every strand. You can see the silver peeking out on top in the picture with my sister, Janean. The pictures above and below were literally taken weeks apart. Then, in the picture of me from the back, you can also see (if you zoom in) that I have streaks of silver here and there. For those who are toying with the idea of going silver, I think it is an easier transition if you high-low/light your hair. Of course, that’s easy for me to say, I’ve never colored my entire head.

Janean & Glenda (Dec 2013)

Janean & Glenda (Dec 2013)

Glenda at Whitewater Falls, NC (Summer 2013)

Glenda at Whitewater Falls, NC (Summer 2013)

Honestly, I think my hair looks good in these pictures. Of course, I still had tons of blonde flowing around. I might change my mind as time goes by.  I am trying to use positive affirmations and take in a steady diet of videos and articles by people who have trekked down the Silver Linings Lane. I am motivated to change … and, so far, have stayed the course! My career is demanding and runs me in circles and I am still recovering emotionally from losing my sweet 17-year old feline to cancer. That said, from what I’ve learned, tough times make you focus on what is important. Time spent reflecting on the essentials of life can give you the courage to do something brave! I tend to internalize Saint-Exupery’s words: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Without these words, I doubt I would have externally bucked social norms. Thank you, St. Exupery! Let the journey continue! And, if you are reading this and have taken or have considered taking this path, please let me know! I would love to hear from you!

Two months, no color – Dec 2013
Before Going Silver (Summer 2013)
Two months, no color (Dec 2013)
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    Dec 14
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Source: Will Marlow https://www.flickr.com/photos/williammarlow/6084373297/in/set-72157627407199845

We are all brothers and sisters …

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A friend of mine posted the following tweet and it really resonated with me. I do not remember this quote, but I love it and I LIVE IT! And, that’s the key! But, how can we get there on a grander scale? By LIVING IT! We must start living together as brothers and sisters (black/white, Muslim/Jew, Christian/Atheist, straight/gay). Remember, brothers and sisters don’t always get along … we fight and want our own way … but, at the end of the day, we are connected and need each other’s love and care. Please open your heart and let Martin Luther King’s words sink in! I bet you will learn that even though we may have some visual/physical/attitudinal differences … we are far more alike than we are different!

Thank you Rob for posting this tweet! It’s a great thought and one we should all put to practice!

Martin Luther King Memorial at Night [EXPLORE]

Martin Luther King – photo courtesy of William Marlow on Flickr

 

  • 13
    Dec 14
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Mom and Glenda (2011)

Going Silver: How Mom Motivated Me

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In my first post on going silver, I mentioned that I did not come to this realization on my own. That I was inspired by people like Cindy Joseph (Boom by Cindy Joseph). Cindy made me start thinking and reflecting on how gracefully my Mother went from red hair to almost a blondish look and now silver. Interestingly, when Mom and I are out-and-about, people who do not know us would ask if we are sisters. I know, it isn’t exactly a compliment for how I am handling the aging phase, but it is a huge compliment for my Mother. And, she’s done this without coloring her hair, by staying true to who she is, by not hiding from reality. Check out the picture of us above – it was taken the summer of 2011. Please note, that I have only high/low lighted my hair, so I’ve always let the silver shine a bit. I did that purposely and honestly, I think gray roots are nasty looking, so I never wanted to be in the position of having to worry about a solid line of them. Enough about that, doesn’t my Mom look great?!

Here’s the progression for my Mom starting with her 50th bday in 1993:

Mom's 50th Bday (1993)

Mom’s 50th Bday (1993)

This picture shows how red her hair really was:

Mom's 50th Bday

Mom’s 50th Bday

And, this picture was taken ten years later:

Mom and Glenda (Nov 2003)

Mom and Glenda (Nov 2003)\

I find it fascinating to look back and see the shades of grey as both my Mom and I have aged and I hope you do, too! We need to celebrate aging … just think about how many people would jump out of their graves if they had the chance to live longer. Just sayin’!

Interestingly, my Mom has had hairdressers tell her – DO NOT COLOR YOUR HAIR. There are women who PAY to get the color you have right now. Hm. That really made me pause and think. Also, as we age, our skin color changes along with our hair and I really think it looks better when the two match or compliment each other. Of course, that’s my opinion. But, think about that when you see someone who is older and colors their hair. Really study their face and how the hair frames it. Is it harsh? Does it look natural? Once I started looking at silver hair with a new perspective, I started realizing that I wanted to try it. And now I’m a year into my new look. I will start sharing some photos of that conversion process in my next few posts. Stay tuned! 🙂

Mom and I … see why she’s my inspiration! (2011)
My Mom and I…she’s my inspiration! (Nov 2003)
Mom’s 50th Bday … her natural hair color! (1993)
Mom’s 50th Bday … her natural hair color (1993)
  • 28
    Nov 14
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Going Silver: Highlight, Lowlight, Nolight

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This picture was taken on November 5, 2013. I had high-and-low-lighted my hair on October 1st. If you look close, you can see silver strands peaking out here and there. Most people just thought it was blonde, but I knew the truth! There seemed to be more silver than blonde those days.

IMG_2820 - Version 2

The woman who used to do my high-and-lowlights was excellent when it came to her trade and she did a great job with my hair. So, you can imagine her surprise when I went in six months later for a trim ONLY and explained my intention to go natural – to let the silver shine! She warned that sooner than later, I’d be back in her chair.

Well, it’s been a year without any high-and-lowlights. Granted, there are days when I think, “Who the hell is that?” But, more often than not, I look in the mirror and think, “Wow, you look awesome!” Yes, the good days definitely outweigh the bad. And, that is what made me think that I should share my thoughts along the way. To encourage others to try it. To buck the trend or the social norms that encourage us to cover up who we really are and to not accept aging. It’s about time we recognize aging for what it is – a gift from God, the Universe, our Higher Power! So, join me as I share pictures and thoughts as I gracefully grow into gray, I mean silver.

By the way, I did not come to this revelation on my own. Cindy Joseph of Boom by Cindy Joseph inspired me with her Pro-Age Revolution. I encourage you to follow Cindy Joseph and prepare to be enlightened, here’s a glimpse of what you’ll get:

To that end, I hope you enjoy my pictorial story and written ramblings along the way. Please feel free to share your thoughts, concerns, and encouragement. I think it is vital to seek support when bucking trends! Further, a supportive community that makes their voices heard may inspire others to go silver. Let’s be trendsetters. What is it Cindy says? Silver is the new blonde. Love it! Let’s join the Pro-Age Revolution and live a life built on truth and look for silver linings!

SPECIAL NOTE: The title of my blog post was inspired by a dear friend, Tes Neal. Thank you for the inspiration, Tes!

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